New horror movie leaves critics unsatisfied


A new horror film, “The Chase,” received poor reviews from local movie critics. The film opens with a young teenage girl screaming while running away from an unknown entity. The screaming and running continues uninterrupted for approximately 72 minutes. At one point the girl runs in small circles for about five minutes, which as critics stated, “doesn’t seem like the most effective way to get away from something.”

Critics were also unimpressed with the girl’s acting, as they had a difficult time telling if she was screaming or just laughing really hard. Also, the movie appeared to be dubbed; the young girl occasionally screamed out the phrase “上古汉语 上古漢語 客家话 客家話,” in a male’s voice (or possibly a very stocky Chinese woman’s voice). Although the viewer never finds out what the young girl is running from, the movie dramatically ends with the girl running into a tree.



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12 replies

  1. I am absolutely unable to understand just Why the critics are feeling displeased with this superb film. I vote it for 72 reruns.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve come to the conclusion that we are both nuts, err, I mean ‘mental health compromised’.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. I would ask you to watch this film again. Do you not see Ryan Gosling playing the lead character? Yes – the girl (most ably played by Kremz van Hoot) does little to further the director’s vision but my point remains.

    Gosling’s portrayal of the oak tree is seminal. It thrusts the viewer forward to the climactic scene of Hoot running in circles around the young larch sprig (again played by Gosling).

    Director Barry Sharpend handles his cast well to deliver this arboreal feast. Gosling surpasses himself and Hoot cannot be criticised for not knowing what the hell is going on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Daily Potato News movie critics have been fired, hung, killed, and then criticized with mean words. You sir have uncovered the truth about this film. But, what does Hoot’s Chinese phrases have to do with Gosling? We all know Gosling is too good for China.


      • Since The Daily Potato News saved my kitten last week, I can only endorse their prowess in news gathering. I send my sincere regrets to the families of those who became no longer alive in the war for absolute celluloid truth.
        I join the DPN CEOs in their setting up of a charity to promote Chinese-English language skills among those less fortunate than themselves.
        My kitten is now safe and well thanks to their intervention at a time when it seemed to be dead in my front room, surrounded by cushions. If they had not broken in, removed it and taken it to a safe place while I had my back turned and was falling across the lighted gas cooker then I would be telling a different story.
        I would rather nail my scrotum to the mast of a sinking ship than miss out on the chance to contribute to DPN’s worthy charity – Speak Chinese Before You Have To.

        I certify that I am over eighteen.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I think she’s destined to be a star – as long as she gets away

    Liked by 2 people

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