Teenagers and texting: A guide for parents

As depicted in the image above, parents know very little when it comes to their children and texting. In order to help better understand your children, please refer to the following information about texting:

Texting has become the main source of communication for teenagers between the ages of 12 and 23. In fact, the United States Census Bureau plans to change the official language of the United States from English to Texting within the next few years. For the parents who are unaware of what texting is, it can be thought of as writing someone a hand written letter, and then making that letter really really tiny and putting it inside your cellphone to send to others.

Studies have shown that nearly 38% of teenagers text so frequently that they have lost the ability to communicate verbally, and instead grunt and point when they are unable to text. Due to the rigorous nature of texting, other studies have demonstrated that the average teenagers’ thumb strength has increased nearly 3000% over the last several years. By 2032, it is expected that most teenagers’ thumbs will be roughly the size of a grown man’s leg.

Following is a list of the most common texting abbreviations by teenagers:

2NITE	TONIGHT
BTW	BY THE WAY
IYMS	IS YOUR MOM SINGLE?
ACKD	ADULT CHILDREN WITH KNITTING DISORDERS
WTF	WITH THANKS FOREVER
IATMS	I ATE TOO MANY SKITTLES
OMG	ANGRY (EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION)
OMG	HAPPY (EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION)
OMG	SURPRISED (EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION)
OMG	SCARED (EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION)
OMG	MAD (EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION)
OMG	JEALOUS (EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION)
OMG	ELATED (EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION)
FU	FOUND A UNICORN
SIFAFU	SERIOUSLY, I FOUND A FUCKING UNICORN
NINAHIAFU	NO, IT’S NOT A HORSE, IT’S A FUCKING UNICORN
HDIKIGAFHAISRTHIFK	HOW DO I KNOW? IT’S GOT A FUCKING HORN AND IT SHITS RAINBOWS. THAT’S HOW I FUCKING KNOW
WNNIFTITOAIJMC	WAIT, NO NEVERMIND. I FORGOT THAT I’M TRIPPING ON ACID. IT’S JUST MY CAT

 

Also, check out these fun facts about teenagers and texting:

• Both of the words “texting” and “teenager” start with the letter “t.”
• The word “texting” has 7 letters and “teenager” has 8 letters.
• Texting is not illegal; however, shooting someone while texting is.
• Teenagers can text, but texters cannot teenage.

 

Image: “Doocci.com: Please Send Me Lots Of Love” by Carl. August 10, 2011.

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Categories: Articles

Tags: Comedy, current events, funny, laughs, news, parody, sarcasm, sarcastic, satire, smartphone, texting

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