Sixty-eight-year-old Patrick Stevens, local husband and father of two, continues to dwell on that one time in 1994 when he was apparently right during a family debate. His wife and children stated that although Mr. Stevens has been wrong the… Read More ›
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Bill Thatcher and Margaret Jacobs were recently set up by mutual friends and although they have not yet met, they decided it would be best to attend a couples therapy session for their first date. Mr. Thatcher stated that he… Read More ›
In order to help improve relations with other countries, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un appeared on state run media stating his intentions to create a national “Free Thinking Day.” Jong-un reported that on this specific day all North Korean citizens will be allowed… Read More ›
Prince Al-Waleed recently donated 10,000 barrels of oil to homeless and underprivileged families. The Prince stated that each family can do whatever they please with their barrel, but after they are done doing whatever it is they plan on… Read More ›
Sources reported that Phillip Barker, a local produce manager, plans to make the largest ever plum display. He stated that it will span aisles 2 through 10 and although the plums are very ripe, he warned all customers against removing… Read More ›
It was recently reported that reserve deputy Robert Bates accidentally shot an unarmed black man in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Apparently, he meant to grab his taser, but instead grabbed his gun. Given the numerous police shootings of unarmed black men in… Read More ›
Sources reported that two girls displayed a “pretty pathetic” attempt at coordinating their gym attire. Sarah Adams and Monique Jimenez planned to look “super cute together,” but according to gym patrons, they “failed miserably.” Sarah stated that she was going… Read More ›