Sources reported that Phillip Barker, a local produce manager, plans to make the largest ever plum display. He stated that it will span aisles 2 through 10 and although the plums are very ripe, he warned all customers against removing… Read More ›
fox news
Actress with short haircut still confused for 12-year-old boy
Since receiving her short haircut, actress Ginnifer Goodwin continues to be mistaken for a preadolescent male. Although the film industry is aware that she is not in fact a young boy, the Walt Disney Company continues to offer her… Read More ›
Superbowl playing it safe
Due to the recent accusations stating that the Patriots intentionally deflated footballs to gain an advantage, the NFL has intentionally over inflated the footballs that will be used during the 2015 Super Bowl game. Some worry, however, that the… Read More ›
Marathon runner ‘convinced’ he is being followed
Long time marathon runner, James Hunt, told sources that he is “constantly being followed” and that he is “becoming more and more scared for his life.” A spokesman for the police department stated that they are taking Mr…. Read More ›
Small child reportedly found in Duck Dynasty’s beard
Sources reported that Phil Robertson from A&E’s popular show, Duck Dynasty, recently discovered what appears to be a small child hidden in his overwhelmingly large beard. Experts speculate that this male child is four years of age and was able… Read More ›
Consuming laundry detergent pods considered unsafe
A recent report by Fox News, Laundry detergent pods exploding in childrens’ throats, describes several recent incidents in which children have consumed laundry detergent pods. One case details a 13-month girl in Minnesota who was hospitalized for a week after swallowing a… Read More ›
Man confirms inactive lifestyle with fitness bracelet
Thirty-nine year old, Donald Johnson, recently purchased an electronic fitness bracelet to track his daily fitness activities, such as steps taken and calories burned. After just two days of wearing the bracelet Mr. Johnson’s suspicions of leading a completely inactive… Read More ›
Driving in a ‘drunk suit’
Fox News recently published an article entitled, “Driving in a ‘drunk suit’.” This article discusses a so-called “drunk suit” that Ford developed, which simulates the effects of intoxication from head to toe. As stated in the article, “The simple-looking contraption is… Read More ›
Local father purchases daughter first car
Local father, John Brant, told sources that he plans to purchase his 17 year-old daughter her first car. He stated that it is becoming increasingly difficult to drive her to and from all her after-school activities and that she is… Read More ›
Breaking News: Courtney Stodden initiates peace talks
Fox News recently interrupted their worldwide coverage on current events to air a highly specialized and sensitive interview. Through a series of 9 innovative questions asked by prolific journalists, the information acquired in this interview should help to resolve the Russian/Ukranian conflict,… Read More ›
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