Sources reported that two girls displayed a “pretty pathetic” attempt at coordinating their gym attire. Sarah Adams and Monique Jimenez planned to look “super cute together,” but according to gym patrons, they “failed miserably.” Sarah stated that she was going… Read More ›
Sources reported that Bob Thomas, a local community leader, is still speaking about public matters. He has been speaking for about seven hours now and the audience is confused as to whether or not the speech will end. Audience members… Read More ›
Local sources reported that Jim Anderson, 46, recently dined at La Cantina and was looking forward to ordering the Colossal Nacho Plate. He stated, however, that the waitress was “way too hot” for her to see him “shoving $18 worth of nachos down… Read More ›
Sources reported that the Easter Bunny was recently arrested at a local bar and is currently incarcerated, which will likely lead to the cancellation of Easter Sunday. Bar patrons stated that the Easter Bunny was drinking excessively, picking random fights, and telling… Read More ›
Recent research shows that no matter how far you punt a small dog, it will immediately return to you and continue to be annoying. The researchers plan to continue this line of research by investigating whether or not the dog… Read More ›
A new study from the Institute of Language Development shows that speaking in a variety of accents, most notably a Boston accent, immediately lowers your intellectual quotient (IQ) by approximately 23 points. Researchers stated that when participants took on a… Read More ›
A recent study demonstrated that toddlers act like little drunk adults, despite whether or not they are intoxicated. Dr. Scott Moore and colleagues from the Alcohol and Drug Research Institution had children, ages 2-6, play by themselves in a room…. Read More ›
Carmax employee Greg Holt recently told sources that he has absolutely no idea where to find the red Honda Accord. Although several families have expressed interest in this specific car, Mr. Holt stated that there are like a… Read More ›
Michigan based weather woman, Melissa Blake, gains popularity as she continues to predict past weather with perfect accuracy. Her current weather forecast predicts that there is a 100% chance that it will rain 20 minutes ago. She also stated that… Read More ›
Dan Grayson, 42, recently decided to have his heart removed in order to reduce his chances of having a future heart attack. Although Mr. Grayson is in perfect health, he told sources, “Well, you can never be too sure. My… Read More ›
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