Sources reported that a local ice cream man recently divulged disturbing news to nine-year-old Trent Wilson. Apparently, he told Trent that each of the six colors of his favorite Fruity Pops all taste the same. Trent later told sources that his world pretty… Read More ›
In order to increase physical fitness levels in the elderly population, a bill was recently passed that requires all stores and establishments to move their handicapped parking spots to the spots which are located farthest away from the store…. Read More ›
Contrary to Coca-Cola’s popular commercials, a recent study demonstrated that polar bears actually prefer fresh blood from a recent kill to a bottle of Coke. After presenting the polar bears with either an injured seal or a refreshing bottle of… Read More ›
Due to the recent US airstrikes against the Islamic State of Iraq and Al Sham (ISIS), terrorist leader, Abu al-Baghdadi, recently apologized to the United States with an official apology letter and a fruitcake. Although Obama has yet to speak about this apology,… Read More ›
Archeologist Justin Cramer recently discovered a set of fossils which were reportedly not really underground, but sitting under a pile of leaves in his backyard. Although Cramer is unable to identify the origin of these fossils, he believes that they are… Read More ›
As depicted in the image above, parents know very little when it comes to their children and texting. In order to help better understand your children, please refer to the following information about texting: Texting has become the main source of… Read More ›
As stated by The Onion, Orioles rookie catcher, Caleb Joseph, continues to signal “I love you” to pitcher Chris Tillman. Joseph told sources, “I just love him so much and I get to tell him like 200 times a game…. Read More ›
Local jogging enthusiast, Brendon Talbert, was reportedly listening to music on his iPod while jogging earlier today at volume so high that others could clearly hear his taste in music. One jogger stated, “That guy must really love Brittany Spears. Every… Read More ›
Miss New York Kira Kazantsev recently won the 2015 Miss America pageant with her performance of singing Pharrell Williams’ “Happy” while sitting cross-legged on the stage and banging a red cup on the floor. Although many are appalled that singing… Read More ›
Local artist, Katerina Kamprani, has created a new product line which is expected to be kind of successful. And by kind of successful we mean unsuccessful. Estimated sales for each of her new products are predicted to total upwards of zero… Read More ›
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