Prince Al-Waleed recently donated 10,000 barrels of oil to homeless and underprivileged families. The Prince stated that each family can do whatever they please with their barrel, but after they are done doing whatever it is they plan on… Read More ›
Sources reported that Phillip Barker, a local produce manager, plans to make the largest ever plum display. He stated that it will span aisles 2 through 10 and although the plums are very ripe, he warned all customers against removing… Read More ›
Local sources reported that Pope Francis has once again locked himself out of the Vatican. The Pope was overheard saying that he “seriously has no idea what happened to them.” Although he usually keeps a spare key under the flower pot… Read More ›
It was recently reported that reserve deputy Robert Bates accidentally shot an unarmed black man in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Apparently, he meant to grab his taser, but instead grabbed his gun. Given the numerous police shootings of unarmed black men in… Read More ›
Vote for your favorite Easter Bunny and win a chance to get a middle of the night Easter Bunny visit while you are sleeping. Or when you are home alone taking a shower. Or both. 1 2 3 4 5… Read More ›
Sources reported that two girls displayed a “pretty pathetic” attempt at coordinating their gym attire. Sarah Adams and Monique Jimenez planned to look “super cute together,” but according to gym patrons, they “failed miserably.” Sarah stated that she was going… Read More ›
Sources reported that Bob Thomas, a local community leader, is still speaking about public matters. He has been speaking for about seven hours now and the audience is confused as to whether or not the speech will end. Audience members… Read More ›
A new study from the Institute of Language Development shows that speaking in a variety of accents, most notably a Boston accent, immediately lowers your intellectual quotient (IQ) by approximately 23 points. Researchers stated that when participants took on a… Read More ›
A recent study demonstrated that toddlers act like little drunk adults, despite whether or not they are intoxicated. Dr. Scott Moore and colleagues from the Alcohol and Drug Research Institution had children, ages 2-6, play by themselves in a room…. Read More ›
As spring break approaches, local sources reported that chlamydia is super excited and preparing to hit the beach. Chlamydia stated that it will probably go to Panama City Beach, FL, and hopes to meet a ton of new people and make lots… Read More ›
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