Sources reported that Phillip Barker, a local produce manager, plans to make the largest ever plum display. He stated that it will span aisles 2 through 10 and although the plums are very ripe, he warned all customers against removing… Read More ›
daily potato news
Actress with short haircut still confused for 12-year-old boy
Since receiving her short haircut, actress Ginnifer Goodwin continues to be mistaken for a preadolescent male. Although the film industry is aware that she is not in fact a young boy, the Walt Disney Company continues to offer her… Read More ›
Local man declares New Year’s resolution
Sources have just reported that a local man declared his 2015 New Year’s resolution, which is to keep his New Year’s resolution. Image: “Bing.com images“
Coworker considers himself ‘ultimate prankster’
Local coworker, David Hewitt, told sources that when it comes to pulling off pranks in the office, he is the “ultimate prankster.” Although Mr. Hewitt was reluctant to discuss any of his ongoing pranks, he told sources about several of… Read More ›
In local online dating news…
Woman excludes approximately 98.2% of the male dating pool by stating that she is looking for a man who is both honest and caring. Image attribution: “Flickr Working on laptop” by Hans Kristian Aas.
Local fruit stand reaches record sales
Local fruit stand owner, Tiffany Wheeler, has found that by placing a lowercase “i” in front of the names of all her food products, her sales have drastically increased. Ms. Wheeler told sources, “I think putting the ‘i’ before product names… Read More ›
USA World Cup fans experience unknown emotions
As the USA soccer team continues to progress in the World Cup, many Americans report experiencing emotions which are unknown to mental health professionals. One USA soccer fan told sources, “I don’t know what it is. It’s like I’m happy and… Read More ›
Captchas have limited internet usage to Microsoft Word and the calculator
Captchas are used to verify that you are an actual person and not an automated program or “bot.” Although they help to limit spam and increase online security, they are becoming increasingly difficult to read. A recent survey indicated that… Read More ›
Third world children tackle first world problems
A group of five children from Eritrea in Western Africa (pictured on left) have come together to help out underprivileged upper-middle class white adolescents from the United States. The Eritrean children told sources, “We just really want to do something to… Read More ›
Man confirms inactive lifestyle with fitness bracelet
Thirty-nine year old, Donald Johnson, recently purchased an electronic fitness bracelet to track his daily fitness activities, such as steps taken and calories burned. After just two days of wearing the bracelet Mr. Johnson’s suspicions of leading a completely inactive… Read More ›
alexkohl.wordpress.com 