Coworker considers himself ‘ultimate prankster’

Local coworker, David Hewitt, told sources that when it comes to pulling off pranks in the office, he is the “ultimate prankster.” Although Mr. Hewitt was reluctant to discuss any of his ongoing pranks, he told sources about several of his all-time favorite pranks from the past:

• “This one was great. So when the water cooler was empty, instead of replacing it with a new jug, I filled the old one up with tap water instead. For the next week, everyone that drank from the water cooler was drinking tap water and not the purified water!! Hahahahah oh my gosh that one was great; nobody even knew they were drinking tap water!”
• “OK this was another classic; I turned down the volume on our secretaries phone just a little bit, so little that she barely noticed. The entire day she had to talk a little bit louder whenever customers called!! I know that one was kind of pushing the limits, but it was really funny hearing her talk a little bit louder.”
• “Just a few weeks ago I pranked everybody in the office using the thermostat. So get this, every half hour I moved the temperature either up or down one degree. I couldn’t feel a difference, but I’m sure there were some people in there that were like woah it’s like the Arctic in here, and then half an hour later they were like, woah, now it’s like the Sahara Desert!!”
• “I think this one really confused people. So I rearranged everything on my desk. I mean, it was crazy, my stapler wasn’t in the right place, my paperclip holder was on the opposite side of the desk, even my computer was moved a half-inch to the right. I can’t imagine what people were thinking when they walked by. They were probably like, wait a minute where’s David?!! Is this a new person, cause that doesn’t look like David’s desk. Man, that’s just classic me right there.”
• “OK the last one I’ll tell you about was a really elaborate prank that took over two years to do. Once a week I moved the clock ahead about two seconds. I only did it once a week so people wouldn’t notice. After about two years, it was like we were in the future!! I mean think about it, 52 weeks in a year means I did it 104 times. At two seconds a time that means after two years the clock said it was 208 seconds later than in actually was!! I’m surprised nobody freaked out about that one.”

After pretending to be enthralled by Mr. Hewitt’s stories for over two hours, our sources further inquired about his current pranks with the hope that they are more exciting. Unfortunately, he told us about his newest prank which further put our sources to sleep.

• “OK, I’ll tell you about my latest one but you have to promise to not tell anyone. People in the office are gonna be talking about this one for years. So I’m planning this one in our conference room. We have two meetings a week, one on Monday and one on Wednesday. I’m going to leave the room just like it is for our Monday meeting, but then I’m going to change things up for our Wednesday meeting and people are gonna be like ‘Oh man what happened?!!’ Here’s a picture of our conference room before I change things around.”

• See what it normally looks like? OK, well here comes the fun part, I’m going to move all the chairs around and then I’m only going to clean off half of the table. Get it?!!? Half of the table will be dirty and the other half will be clean!! Below is a picture of what the room will look like on Wednesday. Do you see the chairs were moved around and half the table is dirty and the other half is clean!! Oh my God that is so classic. Everyone is going to die laughing when I tell them what I did!!”

 

Image 1 attribution:
“Company Man” by heatherchristenaschmidt.com

Image 2 attribution:
“Flickr Conference Room” by Avionspace.

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Categories: Articles

Tags: Comedy, current events, daily potato news, funny, laughs, news, parody, pranks, sarcasm, sarcastic, satire

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